People can be very sensitive to the truth, they profess to want to hear it but then once the reality of it is revealed they don’t seem to be able to handle it. The notion that it is best to air everything out flies in the face of not being a mean person, sometimes being a bit opaque can result in a lot less hurt.
I never lie, I may omit details and facts that give the illusion of a falsification but I never lie. I am the silver-tongue that will tell you not what you want to hear but what I want you to listen to. I would have made a perfect politician, if not for the megalomania and rampant paranoia.
This is the interesting aspect about lying, surely anyone who deals in lies all the time either trusts nobody else or is incredibly naive to think that they are the only one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.
Telling the truth may be an admirable trait, but is it really the best option. I have been presented recently with a situation where I had the chance to tell someone exactly what I felt about them, and I had two choices:
- Tell them the truth,
- Lie to them.
Actually that’s not true, like the Spanish Inquisitors there is a third tool at my disposal. Change the narrative.
Rather than tell them about their failings I framed the conversation as it was my own fault, the typical ‘It’s not you, but me’. This was I didn’t have to lie to them and upset them about some of their own character failings (I don’t want to be an assassin) nor did I have to pretend that everything was hunky dory and that they were brilliant.
Neither of those options would have been beneficial, who wants to change when you have someone being nasty about them or would if they thought they were already doing a great job. By diverting attention away from the original question I was able to create a story by where what I perceived their failings to be were framed as a fault of my own. It wasn’t that I couldn’t work with you it’s that I didn’t think you could cope with me.
Now, be honest, if they take that implication that they are not able to handle me in the same way they could the truth that isn’t my fault is it?